Develop a Divorce Plan to Keep the Goal in Mind

Divorce is a difficult journey. Have a plan for life after divorce.

Divorce is a difficult journey. Have a plan for life after divorce.

Divorce is a difficult journey–don’t let anyone tell you differently.  It doesn’t matter whether the divorce is “uncontested” or “simple;”  it doesn’t matter how good your lawyer is; it doesn’t matter how free from blame from the breakup of the marriage you perceive yourself to be–divorce is always going to be difficult.  Whether you were the spouse who sought the divorce or not.

Sometimes along the journey of divorce, we get caught up in various battles of the day and we lose focus on the ultimate goal. Sometimes it seems the most important thing is the process of ending the marriage:  filing for divorce, gathering documents, mediation, preparing for hearings and trial, and getting it over with!  At other times, the most important thing is getting out of the painful relationship and away from your spouse as quickly as possible.  Others may seek revenge by using the system to punish their spouse for hurtful or abusive behaviors.  The most important thing to focus on, however, is the ultimate goal, the finish line:  life after divorce.

Whether you wanted the divorce or not, whether you feel you have been wronged by your spouse or not, no matter how complex the process may seem, your main focus needs to be your life after divorce.

1.  Make a plan.  Early on in the divorce process–even before separation, if possible–you need to develop a plan of how you are going to live after divorce.  Visualize yourself as single again.

Where will you live? Can you afford to live in the same home you share with your spouse?  If you need to move, what kind of home do you need?  A house?  An apartment?  Will you need to rent for a while or will you be able to buy a home right away?

How will you support yourself financially?  If you are not employed, what kind of job will you seek?  How much income will you need?  Will your spouse be required to pay you child support or alimony to offset your expenses, or will you be required to pay your spouse?  Will your current income, plus or minus child support or alimony, be enough to support you in the lifestyle to which you have become accustomed?

If you have children, how will they been cared for?  Do you foresee the children living with you most of the time, living with the other parent, or do you anticipate sharing custody and parenting time?  If you work, how will the children get to and from school?  Will your work allow you time off to take the children to the doctor?  Will the children need a babysitter?  Are there any family members or friends nearby who would be willing and able to watch the children?  Keep in mind that being a single parenting is usually more challenging than being a married parent.

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About Kirk Garner

Kirk Garner was born in Colorado Springs, Colorado in 1967.  He was raised in and around Lubbock, Texas, and graduated from Shallowater High School in 1985.  Kirk graduated from Abilene Christian University in 1990 with a bachelor’s degree in marketing.  The week after graduation, he married his wife of now more than 25 years.  They have three daughters.

Kirk graduated from Baylor University School of Law in 1995.  During law school, he served on the Baylor Law Review, and was a member of the international legal fraternity Phi Delta Phi and the Harvey M. Richey Moot Court Society.

Upon graduation, Kirk Garner was admitted to the Texas Bar, and practiced law in Winnsboro, Texas, for fifteen years.  He had a general small-town practice, including family law, civil litigation, probate, and criminal defense.

In 2010, Kirk obtained his license to practice law in Colorado.  He and his family pulled up stakes and moved to Colorado Springs, where they had always wanted to live.

Kirk Garner opened his Colorado Springs law office in 2010. The Colorado Springs office is devoted to all aspects of family law, including divorce, child custody, child support, spousal maintenance, adoption, and grandparents’ rights.

In 2011, Kirk Garner added a second office in Woodland Park to better serve his clients in Teller County.  The Woodland Park practice is more of a general-civil, small town law firm. In addition to family law and dissolution of marriage, the office handles civil litigation, probate, and other matters. Have a case in Teller County? Call Kirk Garner today to see if he can help.